#she just..gay girlfailure

[marvel-sitcom-au]

OC #1: this is Ida Mosley, her alias is Falsetto.! She’s just a silly gal who likes to cause havoc for the superheroes just for the fun of it! She has a passion for song and dance! And her powers give her the ability to control people when she sings and make them sing and dance!

[pink-pkmn-trainer]

so there's been this little idea ping-ponging around in my mind awhile

what if pomni was an antagonist of sorts, but she wasn't actually very dangerous? sort of like those villains from kids cartoons that call everyone "fools" and whose evil plans keep failing miserably.

so kinda like this ig (she looks sorta similar to the pomni from @obamerzslop's AU, The Terrible Digital Circus, which wasn't intentional and i did try to make her different!)

some other doodles of her:

[paperglader]

It’s kinda crazy to me how some people went like “maybe laura and marisha got tired of pc romance after c2 and they’re taking a break now” after watching a good portion of c3 cause like…

Laura started this campaign with Imogen making heart eyes at laudna and rambling about how when she met her it was the first time she had felt any peace in a very long time and literally made up the cutest, most soulmate coded, meet-cute of all time saying that Laudna’s thoughts were musical to Imogen when she had literally been drowning in noise for about a decade.

Do not get me started on the fact that they have slept together on the same bed for years and how laudna has a nighttime routine for Imogen to bring her comfort when she has nightmares.

And these are just like a few things that happened on the first 6 eps of the campaign🤔

[spaceraes]

we like lesbians here right? right?

[milolovesbmc]

"Doug and Kayleen were straight in the original script but......." Common misconception. Doug gpi has always been a pathetic loser butch weirdo

[pergaias]

i’m nothing if not a gay girlfailure

[bitterbutblue]

girlfailure topaz

h-huh? you were talking to me? ☆ topaz x reader headcanons

~ topaz is a girlfailure when it comes to love and people CANNOT convince me otherwise..~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⤷ If anyone asked Topaz how she ended up here, she would've just blinked awkwardly and shrug because she doesn't know the answer either. How did one of the top IPC workers become a bumbling, tripping, stuttering mess the second you walked into the room?

⤷ She holds herself as one of the most hard-working IPC workers, climbing from bottom to top, reaching heights that many have to work decade and decades to reach yet she managed in years. But around you? Gone.

⤷ She finds herself stumbling over her words, cheeks heating up at your smallest gestures. Hell, the first time you smiled at her she excused herself to the bathroom to just sit down for a minute because why was her heart beating so fast?

⤷ She tells herself she's just admiring a fellow coworker, that she is just a fan of how hard you work but seriously, who looks at their coworker with the softest, most loving gaze and a stupid smile on their face?

⤷ Topaz is gay but she doesn't know it yet.

⤷ She only realises it could be something more that day she came back after Jarilo-VI. Aventurine's words stung more than she'd like to admit but you were waiting for her at her desk with this stupidly cute worried expression that had her throat going dry and all her disappointment just dissipated in that moment. And then you hug her and fuck.

⤷ She stumbles over her words, face turning red and she averts eye contact, galaxy blue eyes darting all over the office and looking at everything and everyone but you. You just laugh.

⤷ You ask her out on Valentine's day and she swears she died that day. You waited for her, even after hours of overtime. You stood outside with a beautiful topaz necklace and you ask her if she would be free for a date and she dies. She straight up evaporates on the spot. Her face goes so red you were worried her head would blow. But she says yes. (And Aventurine filmed it all)

⤷ Dating Topaz is difficult because of how dedicated to her work she is. You never see her much and you don't get to spend time together but she always makes time for you no matter how short the time is. She texts you 'Good morning! <3' every day, and 'Rest well, baby~' every night. She loves you.

⤷ But she would NEVER be able to do any of this in person. The first time you kissed her she stumbled over her words so bad you thought she was having a stroke. She can barely form a coherent sentence around you for the next few days.

⤷ Every time you touch her face or cup her cheeks, she goes brick red and will NOT be able to look at you in the eyes. She turns even redder if you start cooing at how cute she looks with her face red.

⤷ She will walk out of a meeting like the most girlboss, put together, confident woman ever but the second you run up to her and give her a hug all that just fades and she begins giggling to herself and blushing and you love her so much.

⤷ She's really just a loser deep down and you love her for that <3

[explosionshark]

Oh my God everyone kicking Buffy out and putting Faith in charge is the FUNNIEST moment of collective girlfailure in all of Buffy. Genuinely a number one. Faith has been out of prison for less time than a Hulu Trial and they’re just like “put her in charge we are SICK OF THIS BLONDE BITCH” and it goes exactly as you expect. Nothing but respect for my idiot in chief

It's so fucking funny bc Faith doesn't even really want it, it's just pretty much her being a victim of her own Hotness Bubble like

The Potentials are all freaked out and bummed over how Their Lives Are All In Danger and Buffy's been stressed so she hasn't been the fun parent lately. Then Faith rocks up - they don't KNOW her. But she's SO hot. She's funny. She's got this rep. She's got slaying experience. And, crucially, she's really exuding this kind of dirtbag ex con zen that these idiot teenagers IMMEDIATELY misread as competence.

List of things Faith is competent at by season 7

-slaying (I'll give her that!)

-looking good in tank tops

-being pretty chill when people take shots at her over the whole Going Evil Phase

-being stabbed

-sustaining head trauma

-i mean getting her ass absolutely handed to her repeatedly without dying

-being gay for buffy

You'll note this list does NOT INCLUDE any sort of leadership skills. She's literally JUST hot and kind of charming.

She is the deadbeat dad who has the kids on the weekend and doesn't make them stick to bedtimes or do their homework and she let's them play M rated video games and say "bitch."

AND THEY PUT HER IN CHARGE. THE SLAYER WHOSE MOST NOTABLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE FAILING TO END THE WORLD AND SUCCEEDING AT GIVING HERSELF BRAIN DAMAGE.

And what does she do when she's in charge? Almost immediately receive another traumatic brain injury.

[limblesstar]

odysseus the line cook au

odysseus is a line cook, 40 years old, hasnt gotten a promotion in the decade hes worked there

coworker is diomedes, fresh(ish) out of culinary school, head chef , 27

odysseus is not very fond of this fact

its a fine dining restaurant, they do not act like it is.

boss is circe who cannot stand any of them,

their manager is hermes, he is chill with everything going on, doesnt really care as long as the kitchen is clean and they get dishes out. too busy smoking weed. could of had his own restaurant but didnt want the responsibility

married to penelope whos a professor in textile materials and technology, busy teaching and grading papers usually.

odysseus and diomedes have a very weird hot work situationship, his wife is very okay with it. odysseus is in love with him

theyre just bros, its not gay to fuck in the walk in freezer

what they do depends on the day and how much they can get away with.

penelope actually wants diomedes to move in so he 1. pays bills 2. she can pawn telemachus onto him 3. wants to know whats up

odysseus chain smokes on his break. he desperately wants to quit because his wife thinks its kind of gross and second hand smoke but he just cant kick the habit

lives in an apartment complex, absolute girlfailure.

poor relationship with father, could of been the greatest nepo baby but dropped out of his degree in commerce to go to culinary school

THIEF AND A LIAR

house is filled with equipment from his work, biggest thing hes stolen is a stand mixer that he convinced circe he threw out because it was broken. everything in his fridge is stored in a stolen quart container

doesnt steal any produce because he thinks its poor quality

ACTIVELY HATES CUSTOMERS

if diomedes wasn't there odysseus would be spitting in peoples food (he does it if the customers piss him off enough and if diomedes isnt looking)

maternal family has mob connections that he doesnt use (he can do it on his own)

on his off day he likes to bbq on his balcony to the displeasure of all his neighbours. hangs out with his son too

[maxz-b]

listen. rhaenys is slash should have been the true queen but We Are Way Past That Point so like i know rhaenyra is the rightful heir to the throne. i know.

but also

no one does it like team green. Criston Cole is having the worst time as always. his career has never been better and he has never gotten more pussy. he has now been forced to go on a trip with the worst person hes ever met, a guy with no role in the story other than to be vaguely contradictory and exude mean gay. Alicent Hightower cannot catch a single fucking break. She has never left girlfailure mode she is a repressed bisexual she dislikes her entire family and i need her so bad. Do not even get me Started on the terrible horrible no good brothers targaryen i need them to fistfight and bite each other again or so help me God. helaena has never done anything wrong in her life. Otto shows up once every couple episodes having less hair and serving more cunt

honestly the only one who comes anywhere near the level of dumbfuckery that they have is daemon because he really just rolls with all of the threatening vague visions hes having. Witch lady with blood on her fingers gives him a potion and he just chugs it. Iconic.

[vanpalmerenthusiast]

need need need pre-crash/no-crash parkinglot headcanons i’m recently so getting into them

omg headcanons about us yes ofc

i feel like you can view some of these as platonic or romantic or secret third thing, so however you want to interpret be my guest <3 wasn’t really sure which version to write for so it’s mostly romantic vibe stuff

okay so we’ve all seen the “lottie was lonely, not alone” thing by now (which is a fucking amazing little analysis by @before-it-felt-like-a-sin, love it so much) and that’s something i think van tends to notice about lottie pre-crash. she understands that lottie is different than the others, because van is different too. she senses that loneliness in lottie and that forms a kind of unspoken kinship between the two, maybe even before they officially become friends. they’re connected on a level neither of them really quite understand.

bouncing off of that, van has a bit of a deeper connection to lottie in that she looks up to her terminally. she would follow her anywhere, even off a cliff if lottie said it was the right thing to do. we see this in the wilderness, but no-crash/pre-crash it’s more of just an intense loyalty than a girlfailure cult leader and her lesbiacolyte

parkinglot are like, crazy confused about each other. van knows she’s gay (lottie maybe not so much), but even then it’s like “how the fuck do i feel about this weird ass girl actually”

the gray area is SUFFOCATING

both too nervous to make an official first move so i feel like their relationship ends up stemming from a simple innocent everyday comment to them like fully going at it

lottie braids van’s hair

she does

parkinglot at the end of the day is about unconditional, devotional love. they see each others imperfections down to their core, and they just do not give a fuck because they love each other so much.

van is not the smooth one in this relationship i do indeed fear

like she has her moments but i feel like lottie catches her off-guard and gets her flustered with a random comment and lottie’s just left wondering like why did she just get so red and run away

these silly lesbians

little spoon van big spoon lottie WHO SAID THAT!!

van is ALWAYS trying to get lottie into her favorite movies and i feel like medicated lottie would be a movie fiend too so it’s not that difficult of a process

parkinglot movie nights are a staple

“it’s fine, i’ll just eat it” van and “excuse me, she asked for no pickles” lottie

this is how you do butchfemme guys, parkinglot is how you do butchfemme

i can see them connecting on their family issues at like a big slumber party while everyone else is asleep because they’re both night owls

lottie talking about her parents not wanting to deal with her, van talking about her mom not wanting to deal with anything. this conversation definitely ends with them sound asleep beside each other and sleeping in hours after everybody else.

them being the only people they can each open up to, fully.

GOD I LOVE THEM

tried thinking about them in the adult years but it got too freaky and i could not for the life of me separate them from the narrative so just put this in highschool/college no crash au

part of that was just me rambling and the rest is just the most random little things popping into my head, hope it suffices x

also, i just noticed that my list of uni headcanons you sent an ask for a while ago has just been sitting fully completed in my drafts… not sure why that happened but i will be posting it the minute after i post this!! THANK U FOR THE ASK ILY KAT 💋💋

[empressmcblondie]

I have such a vivid vision of GIRLFAILURE™ Jackie Taylor (some deluded AU, I guess???) going to Rutgers while Shauna ends up in Brown, and wow Jackie would be upset about this for like 15 mins but then she'd meet her non-verbal goth roommate and do her utmost best to bring a little sunshine to her life because in Jackie's head she needs it and she'll be told off time and again because girlie this isn't high-school, and boundaries are a thing. Eventually they'll become comfortable enough with one another for her roommate to pretend to listen to Jackie's frivolous rants (mostly about Shauna, an unnamed ex best friend, or kinda still a friend but she never emails or calls so idk what we are anymore). Jackie will eventually climb the social ladder, as Jackie does, and even though she's awkward and a little out of touch, she still manages to weasel her way into the in crowd. She realizes very quickly that in Wiskayok she was a big fish in a small pond, and here she's just a mediocre fish in a huge lake and everyone's so much prettier and have so much more going to them and honestly, being the soccer captain isn't that much of a big flex anymore... Maybe her mom was right??? But she still waves it around like a badge of honor because fuck people who think it's lame! There's something seriously endearing and magnetic about how she stands there in the middle of the party, her clickity clackity knees touching in her summer shorts as she elegantly holds onto a red solo cup in one hand and a cigarette in the other (she only socially smokes like three puffs you guys stop) and goes on and on about that one game where they got to nationals because it was their best game ever!!!!! The excitement!! The candor!! The memory of Shauna's hands weaving around her so tightly... Anyways, she'd experiment because everyone does (just a little weed nothing too crazy she hates it honestly and like a kiss or two between female friends... Okay so maybe it was more than a kiss but it's totally not a big deal and that doesn't make her gay, does it?) So, she'd come back on holidays and she and Shauna would meet because when they're face to face it's like nothing else matters literally so what if you didn't answer the 64 emails I sent you over the semester it's not biggie you were probably busy charming everyone with your short stories, do you ever write about me Shauna? Shauna's eyes widen so big when Jackie tells her she slept with a girl that they might fall out of her head and it's hilarious. So what? Everyone does it, Jackie would say, and Shauna would shake her head... She didn't. She didn't dare. There was something much more painful about the thought of Jackie with another girl than any other slight that may or may not have lingered between them but she fucked Jeff and kept it a secret she'll take to the grave so she literally can't say anything. Anyways, they'd dance this dance of unspoken yearning for intimacy and eventually they'll put the capital L and B in the LGBT because lord knows Jackie Taylor came out a lesbian out of the womb and Shauna Shipman swings both ways but for Jackie she'd swing the full home run. Yes, they end up together and it's as beautiful and unstable as you'd imagine it to be... But boy would it be worth it.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

Betty Grof:

okay so picture this. you're a graduate student living with your fiance and he finds a magic crown that drives him crazy while he has it on. you run away frightened during this initial incident, and he never sees you again. one thousand years later he regains his self after being consumed by the crown and makes a time portal to apologise. you leave him in the past for him in the future and jump through the portal. you beatup an antimagic monster and dissapear. you become the apprentice to a powerful but mad wizard and steal his powers in a magical ritual, rendering him normal and you with the key components of magic - madness and sadness. you girlboss around for a while, you steal your boo's magic crown to try reprogram it and create an ai clone of yourself inside of it, but your plans get foiled but his vampire sort of daughter and her science nerd girlfriend. the ai of you and the him inside the crown hang out though. you try to go out on a date with him so he remembers. it doesnt work. after so many failed plans you eventually decide to try and just approach him as him. you've changed, so has he. maybe betty and simon are gone but magic woman and the ice king can have a future. his roommate freezes you and uses you as a magic battery to cast a horrible spell that transforms the world into an elemental landscape, where individuals are overwhelmed by their elements. he and some other guys save you and unfreeze you. you come up with a plan to reverse the elemental spell, and get the other guys to do your bidding. you betray them and cast a time spell to stop him from ever putting on the crown. you get foiled and sent to mars. the guy whose powers you stole is now the king. as penance you have to fill a pit with sand grain by grain. one of those guys and his brother are trying to save the other guy and you go through a freaky temple with them, where you confront how much you've given up for your lost fiance. you learn the wrong lesson. you summon the elder embodiment of chaos in an attempt to harness its power. it doesnt work. the world is going to be destroyed. you and he and one of those other guys are being digested in golb's belly, reverted to your original forms. you reunite with him - not magic woman and the ice king, betty and simon. you make out a bunch. harmony through song punches a hole in the chaos god's belly and you can escape. you stay. his crown has reverted to its base wishing state. you push him through and make your deepest wish. you wish for the power to keep him safe. you become one with the chaos god, merging with his very being. you are betty. you are golb. you have the power to keep simon safe, and you have lost yourself for it again. but it is done. the end of the world is over. he will go to the ends of the multiverse to search for you. you are gone. yeah i just think shes kind of a girlboss and definitely morally grey and itd be cool if she was here

Evelyn Wang:

Homophobic mother learns to accept her gay daughter by acquiring multiverse powers. Goes a bit over board with the nihilism at one point and ruins everyone's (everywhere all at once) lives but fixes it in the end. Makes her husband (the sweetest man in the world) sad multiple times in the movie because she feels her life would have been better without him but eventually realizes she hit the jackpot. A girlboss because of how much of a girlfailure she is ("Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed. You're kiving your worst you.”)

[daisychainsandbowties]

Can i watch ashoka series i know nothing about star wars but i wanna watch it for the hot emo gray hair character

yes you can i’m giving you a permit to watch the star wars show with no prior knowledge just know lightsabers are a strap analogy and sabine is gay gay and her adopted little brother is missing and she’s having a girlfailure moment but it’s fine soon a taller, meaner girlfailure will come along and they can make each other worse *homoerotic 👁️👁️ intensifies*

[the-lonelyshepherd]

3, 12, 25 for jackie bcs I feel like youll have a lot 2 say

HIIII i always have a lot to say don’t i

anyways jack e 🫶

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

probably the fact that she kissed a man /hj

noooo ummm. hm. i didn’t like her THAT much the first time around but i think it’s bc i was very much just watching like. from shauna’s pov. i liked her a lot more later.

but like actually it’s hard HMMM. maybe the way she treated nat sometimes. like rghhh nats face every time someone slur shamed her actually kills me

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

OOOGH. gay but she lwk always knew. like she knew but she just tried everything to not be. still shops in the men’s section tho (i know what you are jackie taylor). just like everything is sm more tragic if she WASNT oblivious ykyk.

also this isn’t a headcanon reallyyyy but kinda? it’s canon backed. and also credits to @monstrousgourmandizingcats for introducing this idea into my brain

(warning for drug abuse idk just in case)

so in the pilot jackie is like super casual about just taking valium from her moms medicine cabinet and like she just talks about it so normally that like. she’s def done it before. so like,,,, jackie just causally swiping drugs. maybe before having to do stuff with jeff. we know she dissociates like after having to,,,, so like. why not just blur it out w valium (literally a sedative that you need a prescription for). idk just,,,, she makes me so sad.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

WAIT NO I LWK ANSWERED THIS EARLIER SORRY,, i’ll elaborate

so when i said from shauna’s pic i mean like i was considering her the main character and that everything she thought abt jackie was true. so i was like oh she’s a mindless manipulative popular girl (I WAS STUPID AND IVE GROWN). like i knew both of them were in the wrong but i was on shauna’s side (??? big brown eyes got to me???)

then later on watching and on rewatches i was like OH. this is just the most girlfailure thing to ever exist i love her so much. and she’s one of my faves :’)

tysm for the ask i don’t actually get to talk about jackie that much so this was so fun 🤭🤭

[keirawantstocry]

🐦‍⬛hola, hope you're doin well!

Baghera being a girlfailure whining to Jaiden, her girlfriend, about how cute Lapin is and how she just wants to squish them. And Jaiden just teases her.

Bonus; Jaiden purposefully teasing Baghera about it when Lapin is within earshot. Holding back laughs when she sees Lapins ears up and turned towards her completely focused on what she was saying to Baghera.

oh blackbird anon how I love you

“Jaiden,” Baghera said in a soft high voice. “Do you see how fucking cute she is? Goodness gracious.”

Jaiden laughed at her but her expression was sweet. “You are such a simp.”

Baghera made a vague noise of disdain before once again being distracted by just how cute the bunny was. “I mean. The tie, no? It's so…” she trailed off as the bunny came within ear shot and stared at them with dark blinking eyes.

“Hey, Lapin,” Jaiden said with a laugh. “How are you?”

“Fine,” the bunny said in that strangely robotic yet smooth feminine voice. “Why?”

The confusion was real so Jaiden explained how it was just a thing people asked each other as a general comment. Baghera couldn't focus on what either of them were saying. Unfortunately she was the definition of a gay disaster.

“Anyway,” Jaiden said, her eyes glinting with a mischief that sent a shock of fear through Baghera. “It's funny you walked over because we were just talking about you.”

The bunny cocked her head, her ears flopping. “Why?”

Baghera dug her elbow into Jaiden's side but she didn't stop talking. “Because Baghera thinks you're cute!”

Baghera squealed as her face darkened. “Jaiden! Why would you…”

Lapin turned her dark eyes to Baghera and she trailed off, lost in the deepness of her eyes.

“She's very down bad,” Jaiden teased.

“Shut the fuck up,” Baghera attempted to snap but it was incredibly half-hearted. The bunny dropped her eyelid in a wink at Baghera before giggling and hopping off. Her jaw dropped as she watched her bounce off. “Did she just…”

Jaiden laughed loudly, her eyes wide. “I think you've got a chance, Bags.”